By: Cara

I’m a senior retired nurse.

When Covid was first announced I immediately started wearing a mask. I have worn a mask consistently ever since except when in hospital.

My first hospital admission for colonoscopy was March 10, 2020 and I used a blue procedure mask. Staff in the hospital were ordered to wear masks as well, and I was not infected.

My next hospital admission was 2021, for bacterial pneumonia. I spent four days boarded in ER and seven more days as an inpatient. No masks on staff. We were playing the game “it’s droplet not aerosol” and staying behind bed curtains was touted as sufficient barrier protection. It took me a long time to recover even after I was discharged home. Did I have an asymptomatic infection?

Then in 2022 I had two brain tumours removed. By this time I had a Flo-Mask that I wore everywhere and taped an N95 on the air intake of my CPAP. But of course, I wasn’t protected when under anaesthesia for five hours. I discharged myself after three days and again had a slow recovery at home.

After the discharge in 2022 I did not recover easily and never got back to baseline. Using a treadmill to build stamina caused the opposite. I got short of breath and unstable on my feet. Another asymptomatic infection?

My diabetes was bad, the neuropathy in my feet was painful, I had to take two medications for potential epilepsy post-neurosurgery.

The brain tumours were over my speech centre and it took me a year to start to recover my speech and even now I mispronounce words and sometimes cannot locate the word I want.

I now have POTS as well, and risk a face plant every time I stand up. My heart rate goes from 72 to 132+ in seconds, and a cane is now the latest addition to my repertoire. My hair is falling out and clogging my vacuum cleaner.

I have been reluctant to identify myself as a Long Covid patient as I have never been confirmed through lab work (not available in my province and my General Practitioner scoffs at my concerns). I hesitated so long because I did not want to be presumptuous about claiming such a serious diagnosis without proof.

Reading used to be one of the pleasures in my life, but I can’t concentrate well enough to follow a plot. The same is true of complex scripts in TV programs.

I live alone in the country, age 79, and still drive ten minutes once a week to get groceries and once a month to pharmacy to refill the nine different medications I am prescribed. Then I rest for two days to recover.

I nap every afternoon and sleep twelve hours at night.

My friends think I am silly to wear a mask and have written me off as deluded. I have one neighbour who respects my choices and we have coffee once a week.

I can walk across the road, but that is about it. I am at risk to falling if I try to go longer distances. I am isolated in my home with TV as my lifeline.

While I cannot be absolutely sure I ever had Covid, I’ve heeded the warnings of Long Covid patients and wear a mask and limit my potential exposure.

I am incredibly disappointed and angry at health care providers who think Covid as not worth their time or effort to learn about and who are disrespectful to patients.

This is not how I thought my life would be.